Author: Ben Browne

The story follows agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) who has settled down and got engaged in the process to Julia (Michelle Monaghan). He is called back into action when it unfolds that his protégé Lindsey (Keri Russell) has been kidnapped and is being held by weapons dealer and all-round twatbag Owen Davian (Philip Seymour Hoffman). Yep- it’s the old “I’m getting too old for this shit” story that only occurs with film sequelage (Yes, I made up that word).

There is a lot to like about “Mission: Impossible III”. As I’ve said before- a film is nothing without a good villain. Well, Owen Davian is a good villain. He’s cold, intelligent and calculating- something oft missing from boomfests. I think most of this is down to the combination of J.J.”I’m responsible for Lost” Abrams’ directing and Philip Seymour Hoffman’s skill. Ironically, because Davian is a such a strong character, it highlights the blandness of the character of Ethan Hunt. He’s just one of those boring, all-American, supposed badasses travelling worldwide, fucking stuff up just so Americans are free to eat their own body weight on a daily basis.

The action sequences are also of note as many of them are impressive. The bridge sequence, for example, is extremely well done. It’s a shame then that the main letdown of the film is the fairly average cast (with the exception of Simon Pegg) and the story isn’t anything new. I knew after the first ten minutes that some kind of double-cross/twist was inevitable as the fucking tide. The one thing I do like about the story is the MacGuffin (i.e. the thing that drives the plot) is never actually explained. We get a name (the Rabbit’s Foot), some brief glances of it and a speculative guess by Simon Pegg’s character, but that’s about it. It’s a smart move as the convention these days is to explain everything so the audience don’t have to strain their apparently feeble minds guessing.

This sequel picks up where the first “Wayne’s World” left off, except now Wayne (Myers) and Garth (Carvey) have now decided to stage a rock festival. Cue lots of daft lines and celebrity cameos. Much like the first one, the plot is hardly the main focus of the film. Thing is, I enjoyed this one a lot more than the first one. Apparently, general consensus states that it’s the other way round, but then again, people voted for Hitler in their thousands (IMPORTANT NOTE: The author of this did not just compare something as trivial as a disagreement over a film sequel to the atrocities of the Second World War and the Holocaust- it’s all in your head.)

It’s odd that I should like it more than the original as it’s pretty much the same. We have the same catchphrases, same use of the “Mission: Impossible” theme and the same multiple endings gag. Somewhere in my head, Sensible Ben (note the capital letters) was getting exasperated at an all-too predictable Village People YMCA joke, but for some reason I wasn’t listening to him and still laughed at the pretty colours and the synchronised dancing. I’m pretty sure these films have a direct feed into my inner idiot.

The story follows two slackers Wayne (Mike Myers) and Garth (Dana Carvey) and their hosting of a low-budget public access cable show. Things change when a big time producer (Rob Lowe) tries to change the show for a bigger audience. It’s a surprisingly sharp script considering all people seem to remember about this film are the outdated catchphrases.

It’s nice to see Myers in a pre-“Love Guru” capacity and remember that he was funny at some point. You’ll be pleased to know that the “Bohemian Rhapsody” scene in the car still holds up. I think I probably got more out of this now than I did as a kid. There are some great lines such as: “Wayne, did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and became a girl bunny?” as well as some great parodies that I didn’t get in my ankle-biter days, such as the “Terminator 2” scene. Plus, having Alice Cooper show a great historical knowledge of Milwaukee is genius.

It’s not all great though, the worn out catchphrases get grating very quickly and some of the references such as the “Laverne and Shirley” scene whizzed past my head faster that I could say “inferior American culture”(I realise the contradiction in terms here by actually knowing what they were alluding to, but I didn’t know before and I looked it up on the Internet, OK?)

The story concerns David Rice (Hayden Christensen) and his ability to teleport or “jump” to anywhere he wants to go. Everything seems to be going fine until he meets the unfortunately named Roland (Samuel L. Jackson) who is a member of the Paladins, a group of people who believe that Jumpers are ungodly and must be stopped. Along the way, we are introduced to the love interest Millie (Rachel Bilson) and fellow Jumper, Griffin (Jamie Bell). So in summary, we have Mannequin Skywalker, the afroed hitman from “Pulp Fiction”, some unmemorable actress and Billy Elliot. Should be fun, eh? Well, not really.

I wasn’t expecting much from “Jumper” because of the type of film it is. It’s an attempt to freshen the tired action/adventure genre with a new twist. I expected some cool effects and some decent action sequences. Trouble is, I didn’t really get either. Well, the effects are nice enough but there’s not one decent fight in the whole damn thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all about action- I welcome meaningful dialogue and exposition in any film, but “Jumper” doesn’t even have that- it just goes on and on with dull dialogue and poor interaction in the place of explosions and fighting. To be honest I started to lose interest quite early on.

When we finally get to the action-y parts, it doesn’t seem like the whole “jumping” gimmick was used to full effect. What I don’t get is how Doug Liman, the director, could have also directed “The Bourne Identity” which has some very imaginative action sequences. I expected the fights to be awesome and disorientating as our hero jumps from place to place, kicking arse. It never happens though. It’s a damn shame. Surely if the action is underwhelming, the characters must be well fleshed out? No. Like Hell they are.

Hayden Christensen isn’t exactly Mr. Charisma, so why play him off as an international playboy? It just doesn’t fit! I’m sure Samuel L. Jackson would have been good if it wasn’t painfully obvious he was just in it for the paycheque. Rachel Bilson is forgettable too, which makes the three main players in this seem really watered down and inconsequential. The only interesting character is Jamie Bell’s Griffin, who at least does something during the film, whether it dropping a Paladin in shark-infested waters or lobbing a double-decker bus at Samuel L. Jackson’s head.

The film is the story of Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp), a wronged man who returns to London after exile and is hungry for revenge. He assumes the name of Sweeney Todd and opens a barber shop above Mrs. Lovett’s (Helena Bonham-Carter) pie shop. It’s all marvellously macabre. It’s dark, dingy and so damn gothic it makes you want to forsake the sunlight and paint your face white. I like the whole washed-out look of the film. You can say what you want about Burton, but at least his films are visually interesting. “Sweeney Todd…” is the pinnacle of this in my opinion. It just looks beautiful.

The casting of this film seems to be spot on. Depp, although occasionally slipping back into Jack Sparrow, is pretty damn good as Todd. He actually makes a serial killer likable and sympathetic- a hard task, I’m sure you’ll agree. I really liked Helena Bonham-Carter as Mrs. Lovett too. She treads the line between scary and sexy very carefully and it works. I have a saying: “If you can cast Alan Rickman as a villain- do it”. Luckily, Burton thought along the same lines and cast him as the odius Judge Turpin- the main focus of Todd’s revenge plan. Special mention to Sacha Baron Cohen too with his fantastic Adolfo Pirelli.

What I really loved about this film was that it doesn’t pull any punches. It’s very, very gory. I’m not really a fan of gore but at least it suits the film. I hate films that seem to be holding back just to get the money-making PG-13 certificate- there’s no artistic reason for it, it’s sheer greed. Thankfully, “Sweeney Todd…” stays true to its grisly roots and has spilt claret by the bucketful.

The film starts with Army Ranger Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage) getting locked up for manslaughter. We get a short montage involving Poe working out and corresponding with his young daughter. Yes, it’s that sort of film. Suddenly, it’s seven years later and Poe is being released. He’s catching a flight home with the World’s most psychotic criminals. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Inevitably, the criminals seize control and it’s up to our ridiculously wigged hero to save the day. I get the feeling that this film would be one big sandwich of average if it weren’t for John Malkovich and Steve Buscemi. Actually-that’s a bit unfair as the constantly underrated John Cusack is fantastic as the verbose Vince Larkin.

They say that a film is nothing without a decent villain. You know what? They- whoever “they” may be are right. I mean, would “Star Wars” have been as awesome as it is without Darth Vader? Would “The Dark Knight” have been as awesome without the Joker? Definitely not. “Con Air” has two great villains in the forms of Cyrus The Virus and Garland Greene (played by Malkovich and Buscemi respectively). Whilst I’m not saying that they’re on the same as the Sith Lord or the Clown Prince of Crime, they are memorable enough to actually add some “oomph” to proceedings.

Let’s just get this out of the way. “Con Air” is dumber than a bag of hammers. The refreshing thing is that it’s fully aware of this. You only have to look at the slow motion shot of Nic Cage running away from a feckin’ huge explosion to know this. It’s nice to see a film do this without slipping into parody. There are silly bits too- the slow motion (noticing a trend here?) shot of Poe getting off the bus and flinging back his long hair whilst smiling looks like its been stolen from the L’Oreal ad agency. Plus, Cyrus’ death (I suppose this is a spoiler, but if you can’t figure out that the bad guy dies in this sort of film you need serious help) is ridiculously over-the-top, even for a Hollywood boomfest.