Review of the Year

 
Annually resentive.
 

2013 (2013)

2013

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been fascinated by the passage of time and years in particular. Nothing has the ability to move us like years do- they can make us laugh, cry, get angry, practically anything on our emotional spectrum. Thing is, I wasn’t looking forward to the now annual sequels to the series-wide reboot 2000 back at the start of the millennium. 2012 didn’t do much for me and so I felt 2013 wasn’t going to be much better. I was both fantastically right and stunningly wrong.

Featuring the biggest cast list in recent memory (around 7 billion), ranging from Hollywood A-Listers to Joe Pleb from down the street, 2013 had a lot of weight on its shoulders. My personal casting highlights were the people I love and like, who made the punishing runtime somewhat bearable. There were also complete arseholes thrown into the mix, who have no idea how to act properly and seemed to be purely there to fuck with peoples’ enjoyment of the experience. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen enough of this series to become slightly jaded, but there seemed to be more of these arsehole characters about than the other type. I especially noticed a theme of selfishness and blinkered self-preservation running through the populace, which troubled me. I hope it doesn’t become a series hallmark as that would be a great shame. I would take this opportunity to review myself as I had a bit part in proceedings, but I feel that after dismissing about 99.999 (recurring)% of the cast, that would be rather gauche.

My biggest problem with 2013 was its tone. It just didn’t know what it wanted to be. There were births, deaths, marriages, divorces, trips to McDonalds, vicious street beatings, sport, natural disasters, human kindness, love, hate, orgies, papercuts and a whole host of other things going on. It started to hurt my head after a while. As selfish and narcissistic as this may sound, I only managed to retain my sanity by concentrating on the little bit I was in, but even that seemed overwhelming at times. As I mentioned before, the total runtime was a serious problem and I felt myself physically ageing during the proceeds. The writing was either brilliant or poor, depending on what bits you focused on. For instance, somebody thought it was funny to call my character a “fat cunt”, which I’m sure you’ll agree has no wit or creative spark to it whatsoever. Undoubtedly, there are some people that find that stuff funny, but it wasn’t for me.

I suppose 2013 is a divisive one. When it comes down to it, your opinion will differ massively depending on the bits you focused on. It’s completely subjective and as such, kind of pointless to review, unless it takes the form of a weird joke posted out of boredom. As a result, I’m not sure what to give it. Still, even if you loved it, there’s no harm in wishing for the sequel to be better. Here’s hoping. Anyway, Happy New Year from The Popcorn Bucket.

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