The Hangover Part II

I really can’t be arsed to review Sucker Punch right now. Will probably write one when I’m done with the new X-Men flick this week. Oh- and Kung Fu Panda 2. What? Shut up.

The Hangover Part II (2011)

If you’re looking for a review that can objectively tell you if this film stacks up to the first or not, then you’re in the wrong place, bub. I won’t go as far as to say I hated The Hangover, but I was definitely baffled by it. I saw trailers for it in the cinema and people laughed. After its release, I was told it was “so fucking funeee, lolz.” by people who I’d accidentally started talking to on my rare appearances on nights out. I watched The Hangover and actually found it to be an alienating, joyless experience. The premise was good, but the jokes just weren’t there. I didn’t crack a smile throughout the 100 minute runtime. This was made worse with the knowledge that people were finding this shite funny. I say in all honesty and without any characteristic hyperbole, The Hangover made me feel comedically broken. However, it made a shiteton of money, so they’re back with a sequel. Hoo-fucking-ray.

“All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.”

So yeah, if you’ve seen the first one, you’ll know the drill. The “Wolfpack” return as Stu (Ed Helms) is getting married in Thailand. Phil (Bradley Cooper) and beardie-weirdie Alan (Zach Galifianakis) go with to celebrate and the trio, plus newcomer Teddy (Mason Lee) have a few drinks. Cue a flash forward to a Bangkok hotel room where the guys wake up in various states of disrepair, remembering nothing of the night before and missing Teddy. Cue man-child shenanigans as the trio, a monkey and offensive Asian stereotype Mr.Chow (Ken Jeong) from the first one try to piece together their wild night and find Teddy before Stu’s wedding. Even typing that summary annoyed me. The plot is the same, but somehow worse. The only thing I liked about the first was the premise, but since that little glimmer of hope has been significantly dulled by time, this film has nothing going for it. The actors are fine, but none made me laugh. I actually like Bradley Cooper and find Zach GfuckyouI’mnottypinghislastnameagain’s standup funny, but I found them absolutely mirthless in this film.

The film has been criticised for being an inferior carbon copy of the first and rightly so. There are so many similar scenes to the original, it feels like The Hangover Part II is like an alternate universe’s version of the first one- the basic story, the pointless cameos, the stray animal and the naked Chinese man are all here, but just slightly different. The new stuff that the film brings has an odd cruel edge to it. I’ve read reviews that call the film racist and LGBT unfriendly and that’s not the half of it. I won’t go into it all here, but damn. Just damn.

Thing is, I could actually forgive the above problems if the film was actually funny. It really isn’t. The basic jokes are: vulgar/inappropriate things being said in a casual manner, Alan saying something odd and Stu bitching about things. Those are just about the only flavours of “comedy” we’re presented with and they all taste like watery spunk.

“Seriously, what is wrong with you three?”

So, you may ask why I returned to the series if I had my fingers burned by the first. Well, like it or not, The Hangover Part II, despite critical panning is doing amazingly well at the box office. It’s significant. That’s all there is to it. I would say something twatty and pseudo-pithy like “What happened in Vegas should have stayed in Vegas” or “The Hangover Part II gave me a headache” but I think that would detract from my points. So, I’ll just be frank, using plain and simple language. It’s shit, the first one was shit and people are shit for not only liking it, but funding more of it. I hope you’re happy, you Hangover liking bastards.

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