One Missed Call

Against my better judgement, I sat down to watch this film with some mates (the better judgement was about the choice of film, not the mates. Although…)I feel like I should let you know that the Horror genre isn’t exactly my favourite of all the genres out there. I’m not sure why, but I am seldom scared by them – and if you can’t be scared by a horror film, what’s the point? It’s like not laughing at a comedy.There are good horror flicks out there though, I was impressed by “The Descent” and I recently was seen wetting my pants whilst watching “[Rec]”. However, “One Missed Call” isn’t one of these few, exceptional films.

One Missed Call (2008)

Horror and I have never got on. I think it was when I watched and was subsequently scared shitless by “The Exorcist” when I was about 11 that the change happened. I remember watching the original “Halloween” a few years later and finding it stupid whereas my friends were terrified. As far as I was concerned horror could suck my balls. That was until tonight when “One Missed Call” completely changed… nothing. It’s awful. Just really, really bad.

“That’s not my ringtone…”

The basic plot is that people start getting answerphone messages (from their future selves) which include the day, date and time of their deaths. It’s a passable idea, but it’s executed very, very poorly. As for criticising the rest of the film, where to begin? It basically reads like a rip-off catalogue from every successful horror film in recent years. For example, there’s a heavy influence from “The Ring” (or “Ringu” originally if you’re being pedantic) with a bit of “Final Destination” thrown in. There’s a scene where a corpse slowly comes back to life whilst our heroine, Beth (Shannyn Sossamon) is inside some air ducts. To me, it seemed like a bit of a rip-off of the vastly superior scene in “Pan’s Labyrinth” where Ofelia meets the Pale Man. That’s the thing though, even if the similarity wasn’t intentional you get the feeling that everything you see in this film has been done somewhere else and also been done better.

“Now this will only hurt a little…”

You know a horror film is bad when it crosses the state line into Unintentional Comedy Valley. An example? How about a scene concerning the exorcism of a mobile phone? Not convinced? How about after dragging a poor woman to her watery grave in a backyard pond, some ghostly hands shoot up to grab the family cat too? It’s ridiculous to the point of being farcical. The only good point in the film for me was the lovely Shannyn Sossamon who, whilst not being given the greatest material, seems to be the only one who can actually act in this damn mess.

So there you have it a nice, short review for a horrible, overlong film. Sorry, Shannyn!

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